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cialis india2 days to go until the wedding. Yay! I’ve completed all my work-work and now have 2 weeks of holidays. I’m so glad to have the time off. Now it’s just to the last minute details, which after reviewing a checklist one of my bridesmaids sent me, doesn’t look to be too bad. Doesn’t look like I’ve missed much.
I’m excited. The day is almost here. And it’s forcasted to be sunny, which is a good thing because the reception’s happening outside. I’m feeling so very happy. I was talking to a co-worker yesterday and telling her I am totally a ‘fairy tale’ kind of person. I love to hear real-life stories that are like fairy tales. And I feel like my story is like a fairy tale, too. I love happy endings! Even though this is the beginning of something new, it is a happy ending to the journey I’ve been on for the past 3 1/2 years. Thank you to all the friends who have supported me along the way. I’m looking forward to celebrating with you on Monday!
Posted in Uncategorized || 4 Comments
July 26th, 2005 by Carol
Monday it finally hit - excitement over the wedding. Up until Sunday night, my mind was still filled with all the tasks to be completed before August 1. But some great friends surprised Leighton and I with an impromptu pre-wedding party and the excitement started to build. Monday morning came and I started feeling really excited. In less than a week, I’m going to be married! Wow!
Last night my bridesmaids held an ‘impractical’ bridal shower for me and it was great! I got lots of impractical - ‘pamper me’ stuff which I love but never spend money on. We talked a little bit about the journey I’ve been on for the past 3 1/2 years. And what a journey it has been. There were many days when I doubted that I would ever have a ‘happy ending’ but deep down in my heart I never stopped believing that God had a blessing for me in all this. Granted, there have been many blessings along the way, but I was desiring something greater than what I could imagine. Just like it says in Ephesians: “Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope. May he be given glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and ever through endless ages. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21). And God has given me more than I could imagine. As I’ve gotten to know Leighton, I’ve realized the depth of the blessing God has given me in him. I’m so happy to be marrying him!
Posted in Uncategorized || 3 Comments
July 23rd, 2005 by Carol
Tonight after the kids went to bed, I started watching TV on the couch and fell asleep until 11:30 pm. Must have needed the sleep.
With just over a week to the wedding, it feels like there’s too much to do, too little time, but I know it’ll all get done. The thing that is weighing most heavily on me is my workload at work. I want to get everything caught up by next Friday so I won’t be overwhelmed by stuff when I get back after my 2 weeks of vacation. I think I’m most stressed about that. Cause I just don’t know how I’m going to get it all done. Today was not fun. It started off ok, with great hopes of getting a lot accomplished, but then there were a number of things I had to deal with all at the same time and I never got all that I wanted to get done, done. If I didn’t have that stuff hanging over my head, I think I’d be ok.
Oops, I forgot I’m not supposed to be thinking about work this weekend - nothing I can do about it now, so worrying about it is not going to help.
Anyways, I am really looking forward to a break. Going away. Relaxing. Time for me. No children asking for this or arguing about that (yes, my kids are covered, so I will be getting a honeymoon - yay!). I’m sooo looking forward to that.
Posted in Uncategorized || 3 Comments
July 17th, 2005 by Carol
Luke 5:16 (NLT)
I ‘withdrew to the wilderness’ this morning and it was so amazing. I was out of town, sitting on a hilltop, overlooking the prairie and grain fields. Being away from the city, in the midst of nature, of God’s creation, is often where I feel closest to God and where I can hear Him most clearly. I love being there! Just me and God and the birds and the wind.
So, for those of us city dwellers, how can we withdraw to the wilderness? It’s not that I don’t want to be there, but where can we find the ‘wilderness’ where all is still and we can talk with God in the midst of the chaos of our lives? If anyone has any ideas, I’d like to know.
Posted in Uncategorized || 1 Comment
July 9th, 2005 by Carol
I enjoy debate. I always have. In high school, I was constantly questioning my youth leaders about why we believed the things we did. Just ask him; he grew up with me. Why was I questioning? Because I honestly wanted to know the Truth. It was not good enough for me to have someone tell me what to believe. I wanted to seek it out and know it for myself.
After college, that same kind of hunger for the Truth lay dormant for several years. I had become part of a group that exposed me to things I’d never heard of before. It was illuminating, freeing, healing. But I started to accept what these people were telling me and stopped testing it and knowing it for myself. It’s not that it’s wrong to accept other people’s teachings, but if I am not testing it for myself, there is the danger that I could fall into heresy. Tell me something, throw a couple of Bible verses at it, sounds reasonable to me, so let’s follow that. But is that good enough? The Bible warns of false teachers (Matthew 24:11,24-25, Acts 20:29-30, 2 Peter 2:1, 1 John 4:1).
How can I be sure that what I am following is true or false? I believe the individual’s personal relationship with God and their relationship with a group of believers provide a good balance for testing and knowing the Truth. Be in relationship with a community of believers where there is freedom to dialogue and discuss topics. Everyone comes at God’s word from a different perspective and different life experiences. There is a richness and depth when a person studies the Word and grapples with issues in the context of a group. But people need to make sure they are testing things for themselves and not simply following the group. Our Christian walk is still a personal walk with the Lord and we need to allow Him to direct our lives first.
Over this past year, I have undergone a re-awakening of my old hunger to know the Truth for myself. I am finding it so refreshing to grapple with topics in my own study and in conversation with others. So many people have so many different perspectives. There is no one right or wrong point of view. I used to live in a ‘bubble’, where my perspective was viewed through one lens. Now I’m looking through various lenses and seeing the strengths and weaknesses in each. Lord, let me never get stuck in the rut where I am open to only one point of view!
That’s why I love debate. A person is exposed to all sorts of ways of looking at things. They need to be open to points of view different from their own and test what it is they truly believe. It makes people think.
Sometimes, however, there can be some interesting reactions to a person who is searching. They can be seen as one who is “doing what is right in their own eyes” (Judges 21:25), or a person who is rebellious, or has been led astray, or is complaining against leadership. But if a person is honestly seeking, I don’t think any of these statements apply. How often have I used blanket statements like these to describe someone I didn’t really know when they challenged my point of view? I’ve done this in the past and I know that it’s wrong. What right do I have to potentially falsely accuse my brothers or sisters in Christ like that? That’s not my job. I wonder how many of us have done this without even realizing that we were doing it.
Rather than viewing questioning as a negative thing, we should welcome it. Honest, sincere debate is healthy and can greatly benefit the body of Christ.
Posted in Uncategorized || 5 Comments
July 7th, 2005 by Carol
I’m feeling out of sorts right now. Misunderstandings, mind games, breakdown in communication - it all bugs me. I hate it when it happens. I spend my time trying to figure out why I reacted the way I did or why the other person reacted the way they did - sometimes (perhaps most times) I overanalyse way too much. I want to learn from my experiences, but there is also this side of me that wants to put up walls in an attempt to protect myself. I hate that side of me. I don’t want to go there. Human nature sucks sometimes! When can I be free of this sinful nature that tries to save itself when the only way I can be saved is for that nature to die?
I’m too inward focused right now. Gotta get back to God. Why is it so hard sometimes? I love Him, but I’ve lost my way. Why do I feel like I am drowning in all the responsibilities of this life? Where is the simple love and delight in His presence?
Posted in Uncategorized || 4 Comments
July 4th, 2005 by Carol
It is so hard when the dreams I cling to are exposed. I’d like to think I’ve got everything submitted to God (all the important stuff anyway), but I don’t. I have imagined things would happen in a certain way and when faced with the reality that they may or may not happen, I feel torn apart inside. I so badly want to see those dreams come true. Surrendering my wants and desires to God IS death! It hurts; it tears me up inside. I don’t want to let go of those dreams. I don’t want to come to grips with the fact that I might not get what I want. I don’t want to trust God that even though my dreams might not happen the way I planned them, He still has good things planned for me and that everything will be OK. Part of me doesn’t want to believe that because I still want what I want. It is so hard…letting go.
Posted in Uncategorized || 2 Comments
July 2nd, 2005 by Carol
I read this in an article a friend emailed to me. It definitely rings true with the cry of my heart.
“Worship is about a cry of the heart, not a slick production. Worship is about me coming to God and pouring out my guts, it’s not about having the latest sound or a hot new song. Worship is about receiving forgiveness and healing when I confess my sin and weakness. Worship isn’t about sophistication, it’s about honesty—taking off our spiritual disguises and letting God get under our layers of self-protection. I find that the Holy Spirit doesn’t respond to the polished outer presentation, but the hungry heart.”
- by Andy Park, “Simple Worship is All We Really Need: A Word to Worship Leaders”
Visit www.andypark.ca/articles.shtml for more information
Posted in Uncategorized || 1 Comment
July 1st, 2005 by Carol
…I’ll be getting married. Wow!
Posted in Uncategorized || 2 Comments
July 1st, 2005 by Carol
“…we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine…” Ephesians 4:14 (NASB)
A few weeks ago, a group of us took a look at Ephesians 4. We were studying how the body of Christ functions; what it looks like in the passage. When we came across verse 14, the phrase “carried about by every wind of doctrine” really stuck with me and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.
What is a “wind of doctrine”? I started thinking about charismatic circles in particular. It appears that they are constantly shifting from one focus to the next - I call it the ‘flavour of the month’. In my experience, I’ve seen the focus shift from spiritual warfare to worship to First Nations healing/reconciliation to Jewish roots to the prophetic to the apostolic to discipleship to covering and authority. Are these ‘winds of doctrine’? They don’t go directly against God’s word, but is that where our focus should be?
The way I view it, these things are on the periphery of what the heart of the gospel is - to love one another, to love God, and in loving God and each other, we choose to die daily to our old sinful nature. Almost all the things I mentioned above never address the change God wants to work in each of us, to become more like Christ (the only one that would speak to this would be discipleship). Why does it seem people spend so much time focusing on the issues on the periphery and not what is at the heart?
Posted in Uncategorized || No Comments
