Living Dangerously

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I was listening to a song today that used to be my favorite way back in high school.  It expressed a burning desire in my heart to follow the Lord.

Living Dangerously In The Hands Of God
Steve Camp

How easily Jesus is forgotten amid the comfort of my life
How the flames become a flicker, and faith a brilliant disguise
Our Sundays become a holiday, they’re an empty exercise
And the cost of real devotion seems so foreign to my life

Chorus:
Oh, to gladly risk it all, oh  to be faithful to His call
Abandoned to grace yet anchored in His love
Living dangerously in the hands of God

Our Lord He is a hiding place, His hold is strong and sure
Though the storms may rage around me in His love I stand secure
So let me live like I believe it, and though my faith is prone to fail
Though I cower under trial, by His grace I shall prevail

Chorus

Spoken: There’s safety in complacency, but God is calling us out of our
comfort zone into a life of complete surrender to the cross.  To live
dangerously as not to live recklessly but righteously.  And it is
because of God’s radical grace for us that we can risk living a life of
radical obedience for Him.

You’ve got to walk on for the Lord He walks with us
You’ve got to walk on though it costs you everything
You’ve got to pray on

Spoken: For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth,
that He may strongly support those whose hearts are completely His.

CHORUS
…Living dangerously
Are you living dangerously
Oh we ought to be living dangerously in the hands of God
 
Camp, Frazier
© 1989 Birdwing Music (ASCAP) / Sparrow Song (BMI)

Somehow something has changed since I was in high school.  Now when I listen to the words of this song, I feel that something inside has died.  My heart cries to live like it says, but maybe part of me just doesn’t think that’s possible anymore.  It feels like a dream that disappeared in the waking moments of reality.  What’s happened to me?  I don’t want to be cold and callous.  I want to believe again.

Posted in Faith, Personal || 3 Comments

The thing I like least about being pregnant

August 27th, 2006 by Carol

“The pregnancy hormone progesterone relaxes smooth muscle tissue throughout your body, including your gastrointestinal tract. This relaxation, coupled with the crowding in your abdomen, slows your digestive process, which can cause GAS, especially after a big meal.” 

 My family (all being boys) seems to think this quite hilarious.  I find it quite annoying.

Posted in Family, Personal || 3 Comments

Transition time

August 23rd, 2006 by Carol

As I mentioned in my previous post, we are looking to buy a house.  We came one step closer today to owning our own home.  Exciting!

 God reminded me of a song this morning that describes where I’m at:

 Lead Us Lord (Dream Again) 
Written by Brian Doerksen 

Here we stand
At a crossroads again
Like you said
In time the seasons change
Looking back
We recall the blessing and the pain
But now we turn our hearts toward
What is still to come
We want to dream again

Lead us Lord
Into a life of fruitfulness
Prepare our hearts to risk again
As we trust
Taking simple steps of obedience we know
That you will lead us Lord

©2004 Integrity’s Hosanna! Music
CCLI #1596342
Album: Today/Brian Doerksen

Posted in Personal || 2 Comments

House shopping??

August 19th, 2006 by Carol

What is with the buying homes ‘bug’?  Nin and Sarah and their families are buying homes.  And now it seems that my family might be in the near future as well.  No, our choice to move is not from some sort of peer pressure because everyone’s doing it.  I would like to blame this one on God and Darcy.

 When we first got married, my husband felt that for the first year, everything would remain ’status quo’ - no major changes.  And he was right.  We have stayed living in the same home, with the same jobs, etc.   But that year is now over.  As of August 1, we entered into our second year together.  I remember thinking to myself a few weeks back, “Well, the first year is over.  When is God going to start shaking things up?”  This thought came to me with fear and trepidation.  I am a person who by nature is a minimal risk taker and likes to keep things the way they are.  Change is never very easy for me.  It’s not that I can’t deal with change - it’s just not my first choice.  My husband is much better suited to it. 

And so when we visited the Van Loon’s a few weeks back, my husband felt inspired (click here to see his post).  After that visit, he started checking out the real estate websites.  My initial reaction was wariness (I don’t like change, remember?).  But my husband assured me we probably wouldn’t seriously look at buying anything until next spring (good, I don’t have to think about change for several months).  But then this past Monday, he started talking about a particular house a friend of his had mentioned to him.  He talked about where it was located (close to our friends), etc.  So I suggested driving over and taking a look at the place from the outside.

Then everything just snowballed from there.  This week has been spent viewing various homes for sale (we’ve seen 7 now), getting pre-approved for a mortgage at the bank, and the house we saw this morning has us really interested.  We might be making an offer.

What kind of craziness is this??? 

It has been an interesting journey for me.  My husband and I have talked about owning a home since we got married.  It’s not like I didn’t know it was coming.  However, I can get really, really attached to things (like my last car - a 1993 Dodge Colt, which, ironically, was parked just down from the house we saw this morning - I know it was my old car because it has some unique markings on it).  I really love where we live and the place we live in.  It’s within walking distance to the river, the library/civic centre, grocery stores and the mall.  Our back yard is a nice size and has this great tree-shaded area at the back where we have our firepit.  It would be hard to leave, but when my husband started looking at real estate, I asked God to prepare me for moving (whenever that would be - I just didn’t think it would be so soon!).  And He has.  I have peace about moving (even though it moves me out of my comfort zone).  I get a sense that it’s time to move on (plus our rent increased this month and will be increasing again in January).

 This house shopping business has revealed a few biases in me: I am biased against ‘old’ houses; I like something that ‘feels’ new; and I am totally intimidated by the thought of renovations (mess, clutter, work - urgh!).  It’s been neat to see how God takes the desires of our hearts and either changes them or gives them to us.  The house we looked at this morning ‘feels’ new - it’s clean with nice carpets, flooring, walls; even the basement is developed.  We wouldn’t have to put any work into it at all (from what we can tell with the intial walk through).  My husband likes verandas and decks - this house has an enclosed veranda on the front and a deck off the kitchen in the back.  And the location moves us much closer to our friends than we were before.

What an adventure.  It will be exciting to see what comes out of all this.

Posted in Family, Personal || 3 Comments

Pics from the Lake

August 14th, 2006 by Carol

We’re back from the lake now.  It was a great week!  I really need to get away or I can’t truly unwind.  I’ve got one more week of holidays and I spent today thinking of all the things to be done and organized around the house.  Sheesh!  Someday maybe I’ll learn to not be so task oriented.

Anyways, here’s some pics from the lake:

Dave & Dave battling at chess

Matthew

Fishing for minnows

Back with their catch

 

 

Posted in Family, Personal || 3 Comments

Ah, life at the lake is grand

August 8th, 2006 by Carol

I’ve been at the lake for about 2 full days now and it has been wonderful.  Every day I relax a little bit more.  I’m feeling very tired and usually end up taking at least one or two naps a day.  Slowly I’m re-energizing.  The kids are having a great time and the weather’s been awesome.  They’ve been swimming in the lake every day. 

 It’s funny how being in a different location changes you.  I usually plan out what I’m going to do each day.  Here at the lake, I’m not planning anything.  “What do you want for supper?”, my hubby asked this afternoon.  “Supper?”, I said.  “It’s the afternoon.  I have no idea what I want 2 hours from now.”  At home, I’m usually trying to cater to everyone’s needs.  Here, (combined with the fact that I am just exhausted from 2 months of too much overtime), I don’t feel like doing much of anything and I’m certainly not looking for things to do. 

 Growing up, my family never spent time at the lake.  I vaguely remember being at my great aunt and uncle’s cabin for the day when I was nine, but that was about the extent of my experience.  I find myself really enjoying ‘cabin life’.  I can understand why so many people go up to the lake during the summers.  The pace of life just slows right down.  It’s a nice break from my hectic life in the city.

Posted in Family, Personal || 2 Comments

Done

August 4th, 2006 by Carol

Finished.  Finished work for 2 weeks.  I feel absolutely exhausted.  This ‘wedding season’ has taken way too much out of me.  I’m sure I’ll just sleep for the first few days.  I was thinking tonight how I can’t wait to go on maternity leave so I can rest.  Ironic, isn’t it?  I go on maternity leave so I can get more rest than what I’m getting working.  Something is wrong with this picture.

 And I’m resentful of my personality type right now.  I find it hard to say ‘no’.  I feel responsible for everything.  This makes me the kind of person who could be taken advantage of.  Where other people might have just said they weren’t about to do the work asked of them, I just suck it up because I think if I don’t do it, then it will fall apart.  And I can’t let that happen because I’m responsible.  And on top of all that I don’t want people to be mad at me, so I don’t complain very forcefully about it either.

 I hate feeling like this, but hopefully a week at the lake will go a long way.  Ok, I’m done talking about work now.  I’m not supposed to think about it for the next 2 weeks.

Posted in Work || 2 Comments

Tribute to my husband

August 1st, 2006 by Carol

It was one year ago today that Leighton Tebay and I were married. It has been a wonderful year. I knew that life with Leighton would be good, but I could not have imagined how good it would be. Leighton is a gentle, caring, loving man. He is affectionate (which I absolutely love!). He never tires of giving me hugs and telling me he loves me. We haven’t really grown out of the infatuation stage with all those warm, fuzzy feelings (and I hope we don’t ever grow out of it).

He loves teasing me which is good, because it never lets me take myself or life too seriously. He is a great father and has brought all those behaviors valued by males but not understood by females to our two boys (fart tag, anyone?). Too much feminine influence has made them into sissies (much to my dismay - I was a tomboy growing up).

Leighton understands me and even when I don’t say things, he can usually figure out what’s going on. He realized very early on that ‘acts of service’ are one of my main love languages. I tend to see myself as responsible for everything by default, but he doesn’t take advantage of that, and does whatever he can instead of leaving me to automatically do it. He is extremely supportive and encourages me to dream. He is honest and pushes me to grow and become better than I am. God has used him to teach me much about grace.

There are so many things that make being married to Leighton absolutely wonderful. I am so happy and thankful that I can be his wife. Leighton, you’re my number one man!

Posted in Family, Personal || 3 Comments