Spitting in your face

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Do you ever just WANT to be mad at your kids?  After they’ve been rude, disrespectful, called you names - basically been downright mean?  After all you’ve done for them - make meals, buy them clothes, pay the bills, give them a place to sleep, love them over and over again - and this is how they treat you!  Its almost as if for all your kindness they spit in your face…

Spit in your face.  I was thinking about that today.  I was reminded of another person who went through something similar.  The guards spit in His face.  And what did He do?  After all they had done to him, he said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.”

Wow.  I can’t do that.  There are days I want to stay mad at my kids.  I want them to feel miserable because they’ve made me feel miserable.  I want them to have sorrow for all the verbal garbage they’ve flung at me.  I need God to remind me that they really don’t know what they’re doing.  I need God’s power to be able to forgive them and love them even though I may not get anything in return.  That takes supernatural strength.  Something that without God, I don’t have.

(NOTE: I’m on a ‘reading fast’ this week - part of a course I’m doing, so if you leave any comments, I won’t be reading them until Sunday or Monday.  If you’re looking for a conversation, probably best to pick up a phone and give me a call )

Posted in Family, Personal || 3 Comments

Weekend without hubby

January 26th, 2007 by Carol

My husband has gone to the lake for some much needed R & R. He’d been talking about going for a while (he usually heads up there at least once a winter). He hasn’t quite been himself lately, so I told him to go! I kind of like it when he takes off. I think its important for me to get some alone time with the boys. Plus I’m even more appreciative of my hubby when he comes back. I usually keep the weekend pretty low key and relaxed. This time will be different as there is a new baby sister added to the mix. I’m looking forward to it.

Posted in Family, Personal || 1 Comment

Got a song in my head…

January 24th, 2007 by Carol

Drops of Jupiter (by Train)

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there’s time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Now that she’s back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there’s room to grow, hey, hey

Now that she’s back in the atmosphere
I’m afraid that she might think of me as plain ol’ Jane
Told a story about a man who was too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you’re wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the Milky Way

Repeat 1st Chorus

~~~

I just love the imagery in this song: ‘acts like summer’, ‘walks like rain’, ’sail across the sun’, ‘dance along the light of day’… The song’s been around for a while (it came out in 2001) but I heard it on the radio the other day and its been running through my head all week.

Posted in Personal || No Comments

Looking forward to spring

January 23rd, 2007 by Carol

…when I can strap my baby to me and go for walks. Or take the stroller. It will be easier to get out and visit friends (since I usually don’t have a car). I love the fact that we live so close to downtown. We’re probably only a 25 minute walk to the river. And I’ll be able to take the kids on adventures. It was a really nice day today and it reminded me of that period when everything is melting and spring is just around the corner. I know we’ve still got a couple of months to go but its nice to dream…

Posted in Family, Personal || 1 Comment

I’ve finally succumbed

January 19th, 2007 by Carol

I went through all of the Christmas holidays without getting sick. My two boys were sick for over two weeks and my husband was sick for a day or two, but somehow I bipassed the storm of sickness surrounding our home. But now my body has finally succumbed. I woke up this morning with a headache, achy muscles, and swollen glands. I feel miserable. So I’m on orders to drink lots of fluids and rest today.

I hate being sick. I can’t imagine what it would be like to live with a chronic illness that would constantly inhibit my ability to do things. My life is all about getting something accomplished and I hate it when I can’t do what I want to do. Not only do I feel physically miserable, I feel frustrated that I can’t be doing anything. It feels like a waste of time - being sick. What an inconvenience.

Speaking of inconvenience… I watched “An Inconvenient Truth” last night with my husband. The movie is about global warming and the potential effects it will have and is having on the planet. It was incredible. It was eerie. Every person in the civilized world needs to watch this movie. (we bought the movie, so if anyone wants to borrow it, let me know). Its frightening to think of how quickly our world could change. Even IF its not as bad as many scientists are predicting, by acting to cut down CO2 emmissions we will only be improving the planet and at least not making it worse. And if it is as bad as the scientists predict, we need to be acting now. I’m so appalled that the Stephen Harper government has said its not really going to follow the Kyoto Accord. You know, I’ve received emails telling me to contact my MP over the same-sex marriage debate. Why aren’t we getting emails about this?? The potential ramifications of not addressing this issue will affect the entire earth! Its not like we’re going to be able to say the climate changes will only affect certain countries - its the climate; it affects the whole world. I think its harder for people to respond to this issue because the effects of what we’re doing NOW may not be seen in our lifetime. Its easier to live in denial because we don’t see immediate consequences, but there is a high probability that the changes WILL come. And our children and grandchildren will be forced to live with our short-sightedness. Regardless of what will happen, I want to start laying aside my selfishness and ‘convenient’ life. I want to know that I did whatever I could to help our planet…for my sake and my children’s sake.

Posted in Family, Misc, Personal || 7 Comments

Sorting

January 18th, 2007 by Carol

I’ve been spending whatever time I have to sort through our boxes in the office in the basement.  Quite a few boxes ended up being stored in there.  I’m almost done the initial sorting.  Its nice to have the office looking more like an office. 

My goal is to sort through all the boxes we brought over when we moved (there’s still a number of unpacked boxes).  There’d be no way I would be able to do that if I was working full time.  It still amazes me how much stuff we had when we moved.  Where did it all fit? 

I’ve heard from other people how there were boxes they had that they still hadn’t sorted several years after they moved.  I don’t want to do that.  We’ll see if I’m able to follow through on this.  I’ve still got over nine months to get it done.

Posted in Family, Personal || 1 Comment

Missed a day

January 16th, 2007 by Carol

One of my new year’s resolutions was to post something every week day - I missed yesterday.  Something about letting Lynae fall asleep on our bed and then her having a massive explosion in her diaper (we can’t seem to get off the ‘voiding’ topic, Sarah ), which leaked onto the bed, through the duvet and onto the sheets below - kind of had me held up for the afternoon - removing stains, doing laundry, etc.

To answer Sarah’s question from the last post, yes, we do own a digital camera - Leighton had it before we were even married.  Why don’t I post pictures?  At first I couldn’t figure out how to do it with Wordpress (it’s the blogging software I’m using), but I got it figured out.  I just never think of it.  And in my mind it seems more time consuming than to just type something out.  Here’s a pic for you, Sarah…

This is my youngest (oops! I can’t say that anymore)… boy.  Doesn’t he remind you of Linus from the Peanuts comic strip?

Posted in Family, Personal || 2 Comments

Comparing diapers

January 12th, 2007 by Carol

Now that I’m back into the world of diaper changing, I thought I’d take a moment to review and maybe get others’ opinions on the best diapers out there.  We’ve been given various packages of diapers from family and friends so I’ve had a chance to try a few different kinds.  I must say that with my two boys, I was totally a Huggies mom, but I’m finding the regular (baby-shaped) huggies to be disappointing this time around.  They don’t seem to have adequate ‘containment’ especially when she has a bowel movement.  Pampers Baby Dry is better for this, but I don’t like the fasteners - they have tape instead of velcro so there’s always the risk that the tape will end up sticking to baby’s skin.  Huggies Supreme (Gentle Care) is better for containment and they have velcro fasteners.  Someone told me that the Costco Kirkland brand diapers are really good, but I haven’t had a chance to try them.  I think I’ll try the Kirkland Brand the next time I have to buy diapers.  If those don’t satisfy, I think I’ll go with Huggies Supreme (as long as the price is comparable).

If anyone’s got an opinion on diapers, feel free to leave a comment.

Posted in Misc || 10 Comments

Snow day

January 11th, 2007 by Carol

No school today.  But I’m not letting that deter me.  We’re having ’school with mom’ instead.  When I told the kids this, my oldest was dismayed, but my youngest thought it would be fun.  Now that we’ve be at it this morning, my youngest doesn’t think its so much fun anymore (but hopefully it will get better for him).  I’m having fun, though.  I love teaching.

Its been a long time since the schools have had to close.  In fact, its the first time the schools have closed for the day in over 20 years (see article here).

This is the worst blizzard to hit Saskatoon since 1955 (see article here).  I was talking to my dad last night and asking him when was the last time he saw a blizzard like this.  He said January 2-3, 1973, which happens to be when I was born (January 3).  Yes, I was born during a blizzard.  (I wonder if that means anything. ).  There were a few thoughts running through my mind yesterday, one of them being “I’m sure glad I’m not at work and having to plow through snow and traffic to pick my kids up from school.”

But there was no way for me to pick up my kids when the schools closed early.  Thank goodness its only 5 1/2 blocks away.  They had to walk home in -36 windchill, but they made it with no frozen ears, hands or toes, just rosy cheeks.  They were real troopers, but my youngest thought the winds were going to blow him away.  JHe said, “Mom, this is a day that could kill me!”  I’m glad we don’t have to leave the house today.

This will be a blizzard to remember for a long time.  I am very thankful for a warm house where I can sit with my hot cup of tea and stare out the window at the -40 world outside.

Posted in Articles, Family || No Comments

What’s it like, having a girl?

January 10th, 2007 by Carol

I’ve been asked this question a lot since my daughter was born in November.  So far she’s not that much different than a baby boy.  She eats, she sleeps, she smiles.  She looks like a baby, which means at this point she could pass as a girl or a boy.  The only thing that’s different so far is what you do when you’re changing her diaper.  So to answer the title of this post, “I don’t know.  I’ve never had a girl before.” 

I find myself paying more attention to little girls now.  I’ve been asking myself questions like ‘What are they like?’  ‘What do they do?’  ‘How do they act?’  It seems ironic that I’m wondering what little girls are like considering that I was once a little girl.  I liked to play with dolls and I liked to explore and build forts and houses out of old appliance boxes.  But as I grew I became less and less like a little girl and tried to be more and more like a boy.  I was trying to live up to expectations I perceived my father had of me.  I thought he wanted a boy so I tried to be like one.

When Lynae was born, people seemed genuinely happy for me that I had a little girl.  I didn’t really know what to feel.  I would have been happy with a boy or a girl.  I never want a child to feel that their parents had wished they had been something else - a tender spot for me considering what I felt when I was growing up. 

I’ve been trying to envision life with a little girl.  I think it’s going to be good for me.  I think I’m going to be able to catch a glimpse of what childhood would have been like for me if I had felt free to be who I really was.  I don’t want to force my daughter to live up some unfulfilled dream of mine.  I just want to be able to experience girlhood with her and to be able to see it again through her eyes.  I also think it’s going to be hard for me at times.  I’ll probably be forced to face some things that have long been buried as a result of repressing my femininity when I was young.  But regardless of that, I’m looking forward to life with our newest addition.  She truly is a blessing and I am blessed to be her mom.

Posted in Family, Personal || 3 Comments