On weakness:
\nI don’t like to appear ‘weak’. I highly value strength and self-sufficiency. Even though being a single parent wasn’t easy, I take pride in the fact that I was able to provide for my family and manage my household for the last 3 1\/2 years. It’s very difficult for me to admit when I am in need or to ask or receive help. This comes from a drive to prove myself. I’m just beginning to realize that this need to prove myself runs very deep. It’s so deep, that often I only realize after the fact that what I just did was to prove myself. What am I trying to prove? I’m not even exactly sure. It probably has to do with needing to prove that I am ‘good enough’. I think it’s going to take a while for the Lord to bring all of what’s behind this to the surface; I feel like the process has just begin. I know I certainly do not want to continue operating like this.<\/p>\n
On neediness:
\nIn my journey over the past few years, I realized how incredibly needy I had been emotionally towards my late husband. It was not a healthy form of neediness. I don’t want to go back there again and so I am paranoid that if I appear needy to my husband, I will fall back into my old ways. That’s another reason why it’s hard for me to admit my need.<\/p>\n
I do believe something very strongly, though. I do not ‘need’ man to take care of me or fix my problems. I need God! He is the One who has promised to supply ALL my needs (not man). Think about all the widows and single parents out there. Are they any less cared for because they do not have a husband? Although everyone’s circumstances are going to be different, I don’t believe that God gives them any less just because they are not married. HE is our sufficiency. But in my case, God has given my husband to me as a gift. That’s how God wants to take care of some of my needs. I just need to accept that and give myself permission to be weak to my husband because that’s one of the reasons God has given him to me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
On weakness: I don’t like to appear ‘weak’. I highly value strength and self-sufficiency. Even though being a single parent wasn’t easy, I take pride […] Read More<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/118"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=118"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/118\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=118"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=118"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=118"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}