I was sick yesterday and I was sick today and…I’m not feeling any better yet. I slept for most of the day and still I feel just as bad as I did this morning. I’m not used to this. Usually, I don’t get really sick and the worst of it usually lasts about a day. Then I can go back to work. Not so today.<\/p>\n
And I feel guilt, GUILT, about missing TWO days of work. I can accept one, but TWO! What are they going to do without me? (they’ll be able to handle it – they always do) I’ll have to make up all this lost time (even though I usually put in a couple of extra hours above the 40 every week). I took stuff home to work on today, but I only put in about 3 hours (that’s not even half a day of work!).<\/p>\n
I know that it would be better for me to stay home and not infect my workplace with whatever horrendous cold bug I have, but…deep down…the real reason I feel bad about missing two days of work is…what will people think of me because of this? Will they think I’m skipping work when I’m not really sick; will they think I can’t do a good enough job (I must be ‘superwoman’ you know – nothing can defeat me!); will they think less of me as an employee?<\/p>\n
Those are the insecurities I face. My self-worth is tied to my ability to do a good job, and if I miss a couple of days because I’m sick, it must mean I’m weak and inadequate. I understand this doesn’t make any sense. I’m sure no one in the office is going to think less of me because I’m sick. I’m a hard worker and they see that. But there’s a corner of me that…doubts…and wonders if I’m good enough.<\/p>\n
What did Paul say? God told him that his grace is sufficient for him; God’s power is made perfect in weakness. Grace…that’s the key…embrace grace. I don’t have to strive to be ‘good enough’. I’m already completely accepted. It doesn’t matter what people think of me (or what I perceive they think of me) when I am able to embrace God’s grace (one small step at a time).<\/p>\n
P.S. To add to all this, my oldest boy has the flu and my youngest girl has what I’ve got. Pray for my hubby, who’s working AND holding down the fort!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"