{"id":25,"date":"2004-11-03T23:00:37","date_gmt":"2004-11-04T05:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/?p=26"},"modified":"2004-11-03T23:00:37","modified_gmt":"2004-11-04T05:00:37","slug":"ramblings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/?p=25","title":{"rendered":"Ramblings"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s been a few days since I posted anything, so I thought I might just ramble for a while. I hate being frustrated. I hate trying and seeming to get nowhere. I&#8217;m tired of trying to do &#8216;all the right things&#8217;. I&#8217;m tired of trying to figure out my place in this world. I&#8217;m tired of <em>trying<\/em> to be what I&#8217;m <em>supposed<\/em> to be. I WANT TO BE ME! But I&#8217;ve got so many darn self-protection mechanisms in place (old habits die hard) that it seems virtually impossible to just relax and be ME. And it seems that I only truly let &#8216;ME&#8217; out for all to see when I&#8217;m &#8216;good and mad&#8217;. I hate being too hard on myself. I hate the fact that I can&#8217;t seem to stop being too hard on myself. I want to love me and find myself hating me the more I see of myself. Why does God love me anyway?!?! I feel all messed up, mixed up, frustrated, and worn out. I&#8217;m sick of it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It&#8217;s been a few days since I posted anything, so I thought I might just ramble for a while. I hate being frustrated. I hate [&hellip;] <span class=\"read-more-link\"><a class=\"read-more\" href=\"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/?p=25\">Read More<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=25"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/25\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=25"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=25"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=25"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}