This past year has not been an easy road for me. And it doesn’t appear to be getting any easier. I know God is using this time to root out some deep stuff in me that needs to go as He continues to shape my character.<\/p>\n
He’s beginning to remind me of the dreams I once dreamed, what seemed a long, long time ago. The dreams I dreamed when I was young, naive, idealistic. The dreams I dreamed before the reality of life and poor choices laid waste to those dreams. You see, I used to believe that God had an express plan for me, specially designed for me, a plan in which He would use me to touch the world for His Kingdom. Do I dream too big? Perhaps. But it does not mean it is impossible for God.<\/p>\n
But when the things I had put my hopes in fell apart, I stopped dreaming those dreams. I was so messed up, how could God possibly use me? I just needed to survive, <\/em>forget about being used in God’s kingdom. Yet, in the midst of the turmoil of this past year, God is stirring up those longings once again. Deep inside I cry out, “There’s more to it than just surviving. I’m not on this planet for no reason at all. God does have a purpose for me.” The perfectionistic nature in me would tell me that I’m not good enough to be used. But my soul and spirit are railing against that thought. I refuse to believe the thought that God would not take me as I am and somehow use me to touch lives and bring glory to His name.<\/p>\n And so I press on. I have no idea what God has planned, but I know He does have a plan!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"