In response to my last post and the comments posted there, here’s some more thoughts.<\/p>\n
I think I’m being misunderstood. In my last post, I was trying to sort out what I have been feeling and I was putting down whatever thoughts were coming to my mind. Although I technically did not state it, I think some people are assuming that my feelings of disconnect are a result of the fact that I am part of two communities of faith. I don’t think that is the case. Upon further reflection, I’m realizing the disconnect is coming from somewhere else.<\/p>\n
What am I finding to be so difficult right now? I think it’s change and the finality that goes with it. Just as going through the experience of having your husband suddenly die changes you forever, the changes in myself that I have experienced over the last several months have changed me forever; I will never be the same. How I perceive things, how I respond to things is different in some ways, and this is affecting what I’m feeling when I’m interacting in my relationships. I understand that things will never be quite the same, that something is different in me now, and I’m grieving that loss.<\/p>\n
I never used to allow myself to question things because I thought that by questioning I was not submitting to leadership and that I was being rebellious. Having come through the process of learning to allow myself to feel what I’m actually feeling, I find that I’m questioning certain assumptions where I never would have before. I believe this is the cause of my feelings of disconnect. I felt ‘connected’ before because I was conforming; now I’m feeling ‘disconnected’ because I’m no longer conforming for conformity’s sake. I think my feelings with pass as I get more used to the ‘new me’. I do not wish to be rebellious. On the contrary, I believe this change is a good thing. Being a follower who does not think or test does not benefit the body of Christ.<\/p>\n
I’d like to address one more thing that was mentioned in the comments of my previous post. It’s something that really bothers me. It’s the assumption that when a person is involved in 2 communities of faith that by default, there will automatically be conflict and torn loyalties between the two. I really, really do not agree with this. I will admit that there are instances where there is conflict and torn loyalties. However, I honestly am not experiencing any of those in my situation. The 2 communities operate on very different levels and I function in different roles in each. I am not experiencing any stress or tension as a result of being part of 2 different communities. And it really bothers me that people assume that it has to be there. Actually, I’m finding I have the benefit of being able to see things from 2 different perspectives rather than just one.<\/p>\n
And to say I will have to decide which community I will be accountable to seems a little ridiculous to me. Why can’t I be accountable to both communities? I’m accountable to my employer and I’m accountable to my kids and I’m accountable to my friends; there’s no opposition in these. Why should there have to be opposition in this? If there were some foundational theological conflicts between the 2 communities, I could understand why there might be a problem, but there aren’t any as far as I can see.<\/p>\n
I think there are some assumptions being made that may not apply. This reminds me of something I went through at Christmas-time. There were some people making assumptions concerning a certain relationship of mine and I added those assumptions to ones I already had. The assumptions were not being met in the relationship and I began to feel pretty stressed about the whole thing. Then I felt God prompting me to lay down my assumptions. As soon as I did that, I was able to see things differently and the tension eased. The relationship is great now! I believe when we lay down our assumptions, it enables God to show us things from His perspective.<\/p>\n
Those are my thoughts for now. Leave me a comment if you’d like.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In response to my last post and the comments posted there, here’s some more thoughts. I think I’m being misunderstood. In my last post, I […] Read More<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=85"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=85"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=85"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=85"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}