{"id":1533,"date":"2013-07-13T13:33:22","date_gmt":"2013-07-13T19:33:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/?p=1533"},"modified":"2013-07-13T13:33:22","modified_gmt":"2013-07-13T19:33:22","slug":"seeking-the-beauty-in-our-lives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/?p=1533","title":{"rendered":"Seeking the Beauty in our Lives"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve been doing lots of reading lately.\u00a0 Most recently I’ve read The Secret Life of Bees <\/em>by Sue Monk Kidd and Perks of Being a Wallflower <\/em>by Stephen Chbosky.\u00a0 I’ve been more watchful for beauty and goodness.\u00a0 Life has been overwhelming at times over the last few months.\u00a0 My cup has been full and I’ve been looking for ways to drain my cup of the overwhelming stuff and replace that with things which provide more of a sense of peace and stability.<\/p>\n

It hasn’t been as if I’ve made a ‘plan’ and been very deliberate about this – I don’t think I’d have the energy to do that even if I’d wanted to.\u00a0 It’s been more about being conscious of my own personal state of being and taking steps to ‘honour’ where I’m at.\u00a0 It’s still very much a learning process for me, but some of the things I’ve done are: taking breaks from people\/relationships that drain me more than energize me; seeking out those friendships that do energize me and spending time there; taking more time for myself (even if it’s only for short periods of time); recognizing when I just need some ‘space’ and being ok with that (by the way, it is such a blessing to have a husband who honours where I’m at – he’s<\/em> the one encouraging me to take time out for myself while I’m still learning to give myself permission for such things).<\/p>\n

<\/em>Reading books has been good for me, too.\u00a0 In The Secret Li<\/em>fe of Bees<\/em> I experienced powerful themes of unconditional love, acceptance, and learning to forgive oneself.\u00a0 In Perks of Being a Wallflower<\/em> I experienced the agony of adolescence and trying to ‘figure out’ oneself and one’s relationship to the world.\u00a0 I think it’s important for us to recognize our frailty\u00a0and<\/em> our strength.\u00a0 We are not invincible, although we often behave as if we are, expecting ourselves to ‘keep on trucking’ even when the best thing for us would be to rest.\u00a0 Conversely, we need to recognize our resilience in the midst of adversity.\u00a0 We are capable of much good and beauty even when we don’t feel like we ‘have it all together’.\u00a0 We need to ‘give ourselves a break’.<\/p>\n

I know that my expectations of myself run way too high but it’s hard to let go of those things, although I know it would be better for me if I did.\u00a0 How do I know that?\u00a0 Because I’ve let go of some<\/em> of my expectations and the world hasn’t caved it, I have more peace with myself, and I think the relationships around me are better for it as well.\u00a0 And why do I hang on?\u00a0 I think it’s always provided a sense of security (albeit false security) against shame – if I am ‘perfect’ I will be protected against feelings of not been ‘good enough’.\u00a0 If I can prove I’m good enough then I must be good enough.\u00a0 The elusive truth is that I am already<\/em> enough, apart from my ‘performance’.\u00a0 It is a message that has been coming at me from various angles and mediums over the last year and I have been slowly, often reluctantly, recognizing the truth of it.<\/p>\n

But does it ever make a difference when I do<\/em> recognize the truth of it!\u00a0 It’s about learning to love myself – having grace for and truly loving myself, and not putting conditions on my worth.\u00a0 How much better I feel and think about myself!\u00a0 And how much more freedom I have to truly\u00a0live<\/em>!\u00a0 I’m not wasting my time to ‘beat myself up’ which doesn’t change my behaviour (rather it paralyzes me) and only makes me feel worse.<\/p>\n

So although these past few months have been difficult, at a certain level I have more peace and contentment within myself.\u00a0 There are still days where I am emotionally overwhelmed but I’m learning to accept myself in the chaos and discomfort.\u00a0 It’s been good to write these things down and remind myself once again of the beauty of the journey that is my life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve been doing lots of reading lately.\u00a0 Most recently I’ve read The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd and Perks of Being a […] Read More<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1533"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1533"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1533\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1539,"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1533\/revisions\/1539"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1533"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1533"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1533"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}