I think a part of being human is that we tell stories.\u00a0 We tell stories to others and we tell stories to ourselves.\u00a0 The stories we tell are subjective; other people will have different perspectives and each will tell a different story of the same situation.\u00a0 Our stories are influenced by what we have experienced in the world and how we have interpreted those experiences.<\/p>\n
I was thinking about this after spending some time with my daughter this evening.\u00a0 She is learning to read and had some homework, a story, to read to me.\u00a0 At times she finds learning to read overwhelming and she tells herself tales, such as “I’ll never<\/em> learn to read” and “I can’t do it”.\u00a0 This evening was one of those times.\u00a0 Now, none of these tales are true.\u00a0 My daughter continues to improve in her reading and she has learned many new words over the past year.\u00a0 And yet she tells herself these things, things which are not true.\u00a0 I named it for her this evening.\u00a0 I told her she has learned new words that I didn’t even know she knew.\u00a0 So when she says, “I’ll never learn to read,” she is lying to herself.\u00a0 When I put it this way, she laughed and thought it was funny.<\/p>\n And it got me thinking.\u00a0 I know exactly<\/em> how my daughter feels.\u00a0 There have been times when I’ve told myself, “I’ll never<\/em> be able to do it” and “I’m the worst failure ever” and so on and so on.\u00a0 I tell myself tales, tales which are not true.\u00a0 Why do we do this to ourselves?\u00a0 I don’t really know the answer.\u00a0 Is it an attempt to protect ourselves against the threat of rejection from others (if I condemn myself first, it won’t hurt so bad when someone else does it)? I don’t know.<\/p>\n I do<\/em> know that I don’t lie to myself as often now as I used to.\u00a0 I am more ‘comfortable’ with who I am (warts and all) and so am less likely to condemn myself and think the worst in a situation.\u00a0 I know there is grace and I don’t have to be ‘perfect’.\u00a0 I can ‘let myself off the hook’ when I make mistakes.\u00a0 Maybe I’ve learned to tell myself different stories.\u00a0 Stories that say, “So I made a mistake – it’s not the end of the world” and “This doesn’t change my acceptance of myself and the fact that I am loved”.<\/p>\n It’s hard to revise the tales we tell ourselves but it can be done.\u00a0 Though it takes time, it is possible.\u00a0 Not through fear and striving to change the tapes in our minds.\u00a0 But through love and grace, through the acceptance of ourselves.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"