{"id":1804,"date":"2015-10-02T09:23:23","date_gmt":"2015-10-02T15:23:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/?p=1804"},"modified":"2015-11-14T22:02:53","modified_gmt":"2015-11-15T04:02:53","slug":"my-story-part-2-how-the-research-has-helped-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/?p=1804","title":{"rendered":"My Story, Part 2 – How the research has helped me"},"content":{"rendered":"

So I watched Brene Brown\u2019s TED Talk on \u201cThe Power of Vulnerability\u201d<\/a> and it blew my mind. I might have thought before her talk that \u201cyeah, I\u2019ve heard about shame\u2026no big deal\u2026\u201d But she started to describe what it was: the fear of disconnection. She started talking about this idea of \u201cnot being good enough\u201d. This grabbed me because I know all about feeling \u201cnot good enough.\u201d She said there are people out there who seem to have a deep sense of worthiness (who are these people? I\u2019m certainly not one of them!). And she talked about how vulnerability fit into all this.<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t stop thinking about it. What was Brene Brown really saying? It seemed that what she was talking about was at the core of our humanity. It\u2019s what drives our actions. As I processed her talk, I began to see how most of our unhealthy, hurtful actions to others and ourselves, all come from this place of shame, of \u201cnot enough\u201d. Why was I yelling at my daughter for having a meltdown? Because deep down I believed I wasn\u2019t a good enough parent and her meltdown was a reflection of my inadequacy.<\/p>\n

For me, Brown\u2019s research on shame and vulnerability has given me a new set of eyes to understand myself and others. I understand more than I ever did before the deep, deep feelings and beliefs of \u201cnot enough\u201d that drive me to do things that hurt others and hurt myself. I\u2019m not looking at the symptoms anymore; I\u2019m looking at the actual cause. And by going there and unraveling that<\/u> my whole worldview and belief system is shifting and my life is so much more \u201cwhole\u201d. I have more peace, more love, more patience\u2026 (hmm, that looks a lot like the fruit of the Spirit). It\u2019s a wonderful, beautiful thing.<\/p>\n

And I have so much more compassion for others and even myself. Many times when I see or experience something hurtful, I see it as driven by shame. I know what it is to be driven by shame. It\u2019s a horrible place to live from, so I feel pity and compassion more than anything else.<\/p>\n

The research has given me language for what I experience. It is helping to unravel the belief system I held that told me over and over again that I wasn\u2019t good enough. It wasn\u2019t until I dove into Brene Brown\u2019s research that I started to understand what that belief system really was. But I can assure you, that what she\u2019s found in the research is absolutely true. I\u2019m so grateful she\u2019s shared it with the rest of us. Truth, knowledge, understanding has a way of bringing incredible freedom and life if we are willing to allow ourselves to be changed.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll talk about what shame actually is tomorrow.\"IMG_9340\"<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So I watched Brene Brown\u2019s TED Talk on \u201cThe Power of Vulnerability\u201d and it blew my mind. I might have thought before her talk that […] Read More<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16,9,18],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1804"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1804"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1804\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1829,"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1804\/revisions\/1829"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1804"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1804"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/songofjoy.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1804"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}