I’m finding understanding GRACE to be a process for me. For whatever reason, there’s areas of my heart that are resistant to this message. Sometimes something will happen and it will seem like a drop of understanding will seep through a crack deeper into my heart, but then the crack will snap shut again so more understanding is blocked from pouring through. But, as my husband said, I’m getting more and more ‘cracks’ all the time.
One of my internal ‘roadblocks’ is the sense that I should have to suffer for my wrong choices, wrong actions. If I feel that I have done something wrong (particularly when I have wronged the people I’m closest to), I have an internal sense that I should have to suffer for what I’ve done, even if the other person has forgiven me. It doesn’t seem fair that I should ‘get away with it’. I set about to ‘punish myself’ (if no one else will).
Grace was extended to me today and I caught a glimpse of how precious God’s love and grace are. The thought occurred to me: when I understand that I cannot ‘earn’ God’s love, I will understand more deeply how precious His love really is. When I think that I can ‘earn’ love and acceptance from God, it cheapens His love. It devalues God’s love to a level where it can be ‘bought’. But it’s far greater than that!
I would like to say that you hit this on the head. I am not alone in understanding Grace and believing that I am worthy of it. As God takes you down the road of understanding what it means for you I pray that you in turn will receive what is truly yours.
Love you sister,
I’ll pray for you 🙂
Pleassse pray for me:( lol!
I completely understand the feeling of needing to beat myself up. Grace is still chipping at me. We need to reschedule our coffee I think.