Updates…

It feels like I shouldn’t even consider myself a ‘blogger’ since I’ve been posting so sporadically.  I really haven’t felt like posting anything lately.  But here’s an update:

• our family road trip was not all I had expected it to be – more stress than fun (although there was some of that), plus our videocamera/camera was stolen.  Poopie!!!
• I was watching our 20 month old daughter a few days ago – she was trying to do ‘rock-paper-scissors’ because as I’ve posted recently, this is our ultimate decision-making tool.  She was so excited to try to do it – her little hand was balled up into a fist and she was shaking it up and down.  She couldn’t figure out how to change it to scissors or paper, but she’d giggle each time we did it.  The thought came to me: “why can’t I be like her? – she takes delight in simply trying and doesn’t get upset if she doesn’t get it right the first time.”  I, on the other hand, expect to get everything right the first time and I get upset and think its the end of the world when I don’t.  Why am I like that?  I want to be like my daughter.
• Recently I saw what decades of insecurity can do to a person.  I realized our insecurities are very damaging, not only to ourselves, but to others.  Our insecurities take the focus off of what it should be and onto our insecure selves.  Why?  Because our self-worth is at stake and we desperately try to maintain that level of self-worth.  In this state, we are unable to focus on others or show them care, concern, love.  I admitted to myself that although I can identify areas of insecurity within myself, I’ve largely come to accept them – not that I don’t want God to work on them, but I didn’t feel any sense of urgency to have them dealt with.  I didn’t think they were as big of deal as I’m coming to realize they are.  I don’t want to go through life hanging onto my insecurities.  I want my worth to be found in God and nothing else.
• I’m putting together a Partylite order (cause I want free stuff) so if anyone wants some candles, let me know (plus reed diffusers are on for $25 for the month of July – that’s 1/2 off) – Ok, there’s my shameful sales pitch.  I’ll move on…
• I’m reading “Flight of the Dragonfly” – its a true story of 2 girls that were kidnapped by their father and their mother’s journey to find them and bring them home – its really good so far