I see the world as ‘black or white’, ‘right or wrong’. When faced with making a decision, I tend to view it as an opportunity to make a mistake, to make a ‘wrong’ decision. I’m constantly asking, ‘What am I supposed to do?’ I’m so busy trying to figure out what others (including God) would want me to do that I never really ask myself what I would want to do.
This past week I was faced with making a decision which involved 2 very good opportunities. All I could see was me inevitably making a mistake and making the wrong decision. I saw it in terms of the negative; my husband saw it in terms of the positive. He asked me what I really wanted to do. At first asking myself what I wanted to do did not seem like an option. How could I consider what I wanted to do? I needed to know what God wanted me to do. But what if God was saying they’re both good – do what you want? What then?
 Is it always about right or wrong? Does God leave us with options where we get to decide what we want? This line of thinking seemed very selfish to me (isn’t it all about obeying God so there must always be a ‘right’ and a ‘wrong’), but my husband put it this way:
With my own children, do I want them to have to ask me what to do for every single decision they make? Don’t I want them to be able to decide what they want to do and then do it? For example, what if they were invited to two different friends’ houses at the same time – wouldn’t I want them to be able to choose who they would like to hang out with? Would they really need me to tell them what to decide? Or what if they were deciding which game to play – would I make it mandatory for them to ask me first or would I let them just decide what they wanted to do?
I believe that God gives us boundaries (just as we do with our own children) and that there are times when God makes it clear that deciding one thing over another would be a good choice or a bad choice. But I’m beginning to wonder if God gives me much more room to choose what I want than I realize.