Being seen

I’m still unpacking this whole idea of “seeing” one another. There are many thoughts and questions running through my head.

Why don’t we “see” each other? Is it more comfortable not to? Do we feeling it is ‘safer’ to stay in our own little worlds? Do we really want to be “seen” by others?

“Being seen” involves vulnerability and that’s something we don’t do well in our society. Brene Brown has written a great book all about this, “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead“.

I think the heart of the matter comes down to this: deep down we all want to be “seen”. Meaning that someone sees who we really are (‘warts and all’) and despite knowing the ‘truth’ about us they accept and value us just the same. Like I said above, this type of “seeing” necessitates vulnerability. And the problem with that is vulnerability involves the risk of being hurt.

What is our response to that risk?  I know there was a time I would ‘hide’ behind my children to avoid engaging with other adults in a room. I was afraid of experiencing shame if I said something stupid or if someone laughed at me. It was ‘easier’ for me to hide. But I know I missed out on meaningful interactions and relationships as a result.

Brene Brown writes about ‘shame resilience’. It’s not that we never experience shame but the people who inherently believe they are worthy of love and belonging are more ‘resilient’ to it. And as a result, these people embrace vulnerability and generally live more ‘whole-hearted’ lives. They allow themselves to be “seen” and they “see” others.

More thoughts on “seeing” to come…