Serenity: the state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil; sereneness
Serene: calm, peaceful, or tranquil; unruffled
Calm: freedom from agitation, excitement, or passion; tranquility; serenity
Tranquil: free from commotion or tumult; peaceful; quiet; calm
I love serenity. It’s probably on my mind because I have been in need of it. October was a busy month, with the weekdays, weeknights, and weekends being full of activity. Now, I can handle busy-ness…for a time. But if I don’t get some downtime, some time to myself without interruptions…I start to get irritable; my anxiety and stress levels go up. It’s not good!
Last weekend I was starting to feel it. And even though I got a little time to myself, it wasn’t enough. Today has been much better. I’ve had a few HOURS to sit in my office, in my comfy chair, with the candles burning and relaxing music playing in the background, and I’ve been able to read and write. That’s what I like to do for my downtime. And I really appreciate the fact that my husband understands this and respects this (he’s been keeping the children out of my hair today).
I know I’ve written about this before, but I don’t think I can emphasize it enough. We ALL need serenity! I am an introvert and I naturally ‘re-charge’ when I get time alone. But extroverts need serenity, too (my husband is an extrovert and there are times when he needs to “get away”).
I feel so much better when I can re-charge. I am more ‘present’ for my family and friends. I have more energy. I am in a better mood. The benefits go on and on. And yet, there are so many people who don’t intentionally take time out for themselves. A friend of mine mentioned that she had a very rare evening of being alone on her hands, she had lots of housework to do but she really just wanted to watch a movie… and she didn’t know if she should feel guilty about it. Why would a person feel guilty about that? Are we conditioned in our society to feel guilty for ‘inactivity’, for ‘serenity’? Has this been de-valued? And we wonder why we are so stressed?!?!
Granted, I have not always lived this way (as I’ve mentioned before). It was my husband who modeled the value of solitude. Deep down in my heart I had always wanted this but I didn’t think it was ‘allowed’ for me. I don’t know if this is worse for women and caregivers but it certainly was for me. I grew up with the impression that I needed to take care of everyone else’s needs and that my own needs weren’t important. And somehow I thought this was healthy. It wasn’t. As I’ve said before, I am a better person when I’ve had some serenity, and that naturally trickles through to the relationships in my life. And the opposite is true. If I haven’t been able to re-charge, my irritability and lack of patience also trickles through to the relationships in my life. So it’s better for everyone if I get some time away.
There’s my rant for today. 2 days down…28 to go.
Yay! I’m so glad you’re doing this!
Glad I could be referenced in your post. I guess I won’t try to explain why, after two months of everything catching up on me due to a very hectic schedule with work, school and activities for my boys, that I might feel the slightest bit guilty about not using my time more wisely than to selfishly decide on watching a movie instead of using what little time I have to actually help my household function more efficiently. That’s why I felt guilt . . . not because I don’t think I “deserve” serenity or see value in it . . . I guess I was just wondering what my true motivation was for neglecting the opportunity to do housework . . . laziness, or the legitimate need for relaxation. For the record, I opted to combine both aspects into my evening, and watched a movie and did some chores, because based on where my facebook status stemmed from, it would have been laziness to have spent the entire evening watching television and doing nothing. That’s why I was questioning how I should use my free time that evening.
I love your blog’s look, by the way!