Matthew 11:28-30 “Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.'”
God had taught me about this verse before, but how quickly I’d forgotten what it means. I think I really experienced this (the light burden and finding rest) a lot for probably about a year and a half starting just over 2 years ago. I’m not saying everything was perfect but I was walking under a lot of peace and rest, much more than I have been in the last 8 months. So what was different back then? Well, my husband passed away very suddenly just over 2 1/2 years ago. And in that first year and a half afterwards, I lived almost every day recognizing my utter dependence on God. My world had shattered. God was the only thing I could trust, the only thing I could depend on.
But something gradually changed. I began to believe that the time had passed and that I shouldn’t be so dependent anymore. I should be able to ‘move on with my life’. And gradually I began living life in my own strength again. And as I lived more and more in my own strength, the stresses on my life seemed to increase more and more, until finally the pressure on my life was so great I took a leave of absence from my work in an attempt to diffuse the stress. It helped reduce the stress, but it didn’t return that peace to me that I had experienced before.
Now as I look back, it seems so clear. What was I thinking?? Why would I possibly think that I didn’t need God as much when life seemed to be going fine than when it was falling apart? That’s the pitfall, that’s the temptation – to believe the lie that I don’t really need to be dependent on God and that I can live this life just fine by myself. It is only when I stop doing things in my own strength and place myself in a position of complete dependence on God that Jesus is able to give me rest. He is able to teach me to trust in His strength, in His grace and power, and by trusting in Him and believing in His ability to carry me through any circumstance, I can receive His perfect yoke and light burden.