An picture of God’s patient love

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God gave me a glimpse of what His love is like today.

I’m in the midst of toilet training my daughter.  She has some constipation issues and as a result does not like to do #2.  I had her sitting on the toilet as I was sure she was going to have to go.

She did not want to be there.  She was yelling and screaming, but I stayed firm that she needed to sit there as this was something she needed to learn.  She was too upset to hear what I was saying.  She was too upset to let me comfort and reassure her.  So I sat there in the bathroom with her.  I didn’t try to hug her because that’s not what she wanted.  I just stayed with her, never leaving her through her kicking and screaming and tears.

And suddenly God showed me that this is what He is like.

In the times when I’m in agony - all I can see and feel is my pain.  I’m too upset to listen, I’m too upset to be comforted.  I feel so terribly alone.  But God is always with me.  He never leaves me.  Even though I can’t see Him through my tears, even though I can’t feel Him because I’m kicking and screaming.  He never leaves me.  He sits there with me in my pain and waits patiently for the time when I’ve calmed down enough for Him to come and comfort me and tell me that He loves me and that everything will be ok.

God is so awesome!  He is so patient and loving!  What a beautiful picture!

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Love Letters

September 22nd, 2009 by Carol

VERSE:
The sky may be starless,
The night may be moonless,
But deep in my heart there’s a glow.
For deep in my heart
I know that you love me.
You love me because you told me so.

CHORUS:
Love letters straight from your heart
Keep us so near while apart.
I’m not alone in the night
When I can have all the love you write.

I memorize ev’ry line,
I kiss the name that you sign.
And, darling, then I read again right from the start
Love letters straight from your heart.

I’ve got this song on my Diana Krall CD, “The Look of Love”.  The song makes me think of God and how He wrote ‘love letters’ to us in His Word.  He tells us over and over again that He loves us.  He loves me.  I like that.

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War of the Worlds

August 21st, 2009 by Carol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just finished listening to The War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells (book on CD).  It’s really got me thinking about our society.  This book was first published in 1898.  What strikes me is Wells’ commentary on humanity.  It feels more like the story (aliens invading England) is a ‘prop’ in which to study human society.  Who is man?  What defines us a human?  The writing seems so different from the media of today.  Back then people actually studied man and thought about what defines us.  I don’t think there are many people who do that anymore.

We still tell stories but the reverse has happened.  Humanity has become the ‘prop’ to tell a thrilling story.  We don’t ask ourselves what makes us human and what defines our society.  I think we’ve actually lost a bit of our humanity.  We have become desensitized to the human condition.  We watch graphic news reports but we don’t stop to think “Who is that person being killed or maimed on our TV screens? He/she is a human being just like me. What would I feel, how would I react in that situation?”.

Mass media distracts us from ourselves.

And so I am challenged to think about who I am as a member of humanity.  What false beliefs do I have about myself that drives my behavior, whether rational or irrational?  What truly defines me as ‘human’, different from the rest of Creation?  What defines our society?  What values do we hold to, whether beneficial or destructive?

I’m also thinking that I should be reading more classic literature.  It will challenge my thinking more than the media that’s thrown around today.

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A great day along the river

May 19th, 2009 by Carol

Yesterday, I took the kids for a long walk along the river.  We headed down to the River Landing, walked all along the Meewasin trail to Kinsmen Park and back home again.  All in all, we were out and about for 3 1/2 hours.  While my children hardly even got rosy cheeks, I turned into a lobster, so I’m suffering today, but it was a lot of fun!  Here’s some pics…

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“The Middle Wife”

February 21st, 2009 by Carol

The ‘Middle Wife’ by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and- tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.  She holds up a snapshot of an infant. ‘This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.’

‘First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.’  She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

‘Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!’ Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. ‘She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)  ’My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.’ (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

‘And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!’ (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

‘Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe, breathe’. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.’

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ‘Middle Wife’ comes along.

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What?! A blog post?

February 1st, 2009 by Carol

I love nature.  And I love taking pictures of the beauty I see.  Here’s some random photos I’ve taken.

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Shall I blog?

November 30th, 2008 by Carol

My blog posts have been very few and far between over the last few months. The Fall is such a difficult time for me due to how busy it gets at work. And this year was worse than last year! It looks like we’ve had over 40% more business for the month of November this year compared to last year. That’s insane! Because November is always a busy month anyways. There’s been new people in the office to try to train and make sure they know what they’re doing (which isn’t easy when its so busy). I’ve felt like I’ve been running in a whirlwind for the past two months. I’m now starting to pull myself out of it (its starting to slow down) and get my bearings again.

I’m getting the sense that there is an area of growth that being tested right now - its the part of me that wants to keep everyone happy. But this does not work so well when you are a manager. There are three areas (all stemming from the above) that I see opportunity for growth: standing up for myself, time management, and delegation.

I don’t anticipate this being an easy process. Moving out of one’s comfort zone never is. But I get the sense that I will be a better person coming out of this growth process. So there’s a side of me that’s looking forward to the outcome.

Life is challenging. And I have friends who are hurting with some pretty severe emotional stuff. I wish I could speed up the healing process but I know I can’t. And then I look at my work stress and realize that it is NOTHING compared to emotional heartache and stress. So then I feel blessed with where I am at. I have a great marriage relationship with my husband (even in the midst of stress), our kids are healthy and for the more part happy. There are challenges and some days are really bad, but this week has been a good week so I’m feeling optimistic about things.

I’d better go. I’m starting to drift to sleep. There’s my update so far…

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My place of refuge

October 18th, 2008 by Carol

I think I posted a couple of months ago that I was working on a ‘prayer room’ in our home. It’s a tiny room in our basement (8′x7′) that we renovated when we put up insulation . Previously, it was a very ugly storage room. Well, we got up the drywall eventually and then it took several months before I finished with all the mudding and sanding (boy is that tedious, time-consuming work!). We decided that this room would be for me - my own special place where I can escape from everyone else.

The room has been primed and painted and I’ve been using it for a few months now. I had ordered some Partylite holders (a tealight lamp that hangs from the ceiling, a beautiful wall sconce that I’ve been eyeing for a long time now and this neat little end table with candles) and I received those last weekend. Today I painted the door that was an ugly grey/brown color and hung a print that I’ve wanted to have in this room. The transformation is nearly complete. I purchased some muslin today and am hoping to hang that from the overhead floor joists as a makeshift ceiling tomorrow.

My prayer room is loaded with candles (when I use this room, I just go on candlelight) as well as a CD player with soothing ‘relaxation’ music. I’ve really been enjoying my room and find that it really helps when I use it. Life is so busy and particularly stressful at this time of the year (with work and home circumstances). I can feel myself getting sucked into a vortex of chaos if I don’t take some time to be by myself. This room is my refuge in the midst of the storm.

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Loving my room

August 13th, 2008 by Carol

My room…my retreat…my hide-from-the-kids room…

the walls are painted, I have a rug on the floor, a table in the corner with candles, a CD player playing soothing music, a rocking chair with ottoman

I’m loving my room. I love the color of the walls illuminated by candle light.

I’m not posting any pictures yet. There’s still a few things I’m waiting for before the room will be complete (mostly - I still need to install a ceiling and baseboards, but I’m not doing that now). But I’m loving what I’ve got so far.

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Tempted by ingenious marketing

August 2nd, 2008 by Carol

So… I got this email from iTunes telling me about the 10K Human Race. Its a 10K race set up by Nike along with iPod that will be held in 25 cities across the globe on August 31 (but the website says you could race anywhere you are). Here comes the ingenious marketing: you can actually track your progress as you train and after the big race you can compare your results with the rest of the world. Cool, eh? Well… in order to do this you need to purchase the Nike+iPod Sport Kit, which is actually pretty cool. Here’s a bit of the description of what it does:

“Whether you’re running the Nike+ Human Race or just out for a jog, this ingenious kit works with your iPod nano to track your time, distance, pace, and calories burned. It even gives you voice feedback on your progress.”

This is sounding really cool. But wait… in order to use this you need to have Nike+ shoes. Here’s how the whole things works:

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