Self Discovery

I have described myself in the past as a chameleon – I would be what I perceived people expected me to be. That way I wouldn’t get into trouble. Trying to live up to expectations and being responsible for everything was my way of keeping myself “safe”.

It wasn’t until I was dating my current husband (and through a number of circumstances that landed me on stress leave and seeing a counsellor) that this way of functioning was really challenged. He (and my counsellor) would ask me “WHO are you?”. And I couldn’t really answer them. What was my opinion on things (not what I thought people wanted to hear)? What did I really want (not what I thought other people wanted)?

Since that time I have been on a journey of discovering who I am. I thank God for my husband because he always pushes me to answer those important questions. It’s far too easy for me to go into “people pleasing” mode particularly with the people I most care about.

It’s a running joke in our family that “everything is mom’s job by default” (I can act that way even though no one in our family actually believes it).

This journey of self discovery is far from over but the progress I have made so far has been very liberating. The more I get to know “me” the more I like who I am. And the healthier my relationships with the people I care about.