I’m sitting in the waiting room of my daughter’s ballet class. I’ve been doing this on a largely weekly basis for the past year. My daughter’s class is 45 minutes long and I’ve filled the time mostly by reading.
Last Fall I started reading classic literature. In my time spent in the waiting room I’ve made it through “Robinson Crusoe” and “Flatland”. I just started reading “The Count of Monte Cristo”. I also read a marketing book for event planners.
Recently my husband was hinting that he might delink me from his blog if I didn’t start posting something (yet again). It’s not that I don’t want to blog. It’s finding the space for me to sit long enough to bring some cohesion to the jumble of random thoughts in my head. The thought struck me this morning that I might try to do this in my 45 minutes of ‘waiting’ each week.
I know that journaling is good for me. It helps me sort out my thoughts and emotions. And this in turn brings a certain level of peace within myself. There IS meaning to the madness.
So what am I feeling and thinking this morning? Besides typical frustrations from my job and some difficult circumstances involving my oldest son, I feel largely content. I really love my family – my husband is wonderfully encouraging, my middle son makes me smile, my daughter wears life like a garment – visible for all to see.
I am looking forward to the future. This probably has a significant impact on my current emotional state. I am planning to make some changes involving career and I feel optimistic and excited as I anticipate this transition in the next few months.
I watched a movie this week called “The Way”. It’s a movie about a man who decides to walk “The Way of St. James” which is an 800 km pilgrimage through France and Spain (after his son dies unexpectedly on the first day of he journey). It wasn’t as immediately ‘profound’ as I was expecting. Rather it was profound in more subtle ways. I need to ponder this film for a while and see where it takes me. One of the lines mentioned and highlighted in the film was “You don’t choose a life; you live it.”. This is a strong desire in my heart. I want my life to make a positive impact on the lives it touches.
After watching the film I think I’d like to go on a pilgrimage someday. I think whenever you take yourself out of your normal routine to ‘retreat’ there is an opportunity for God to speak to you in ways He wouldn’t be able to under regular circumstances. One of the things I wish I did more often is to take ‘mini retreats’ – maybe only an hour or two – to be still and meditate and allow God to speak with me.
‘Waiting’ is something I definitely can grow in. It’s very hard for me to ‘be still’. I’m lookin forward to more Saturdays ‘waiting at ballet’.