It’s been a busy week. You know, one of those weeks where you have a hard time remembering what you did two days ago. My brain feels like mush. I know I’ve had a profound thought at least once or twice this week, but they escape me right now.
I’m enjoying being engaged. It feels a little weird at times, to be talking about getting engaged to all my married friends who have children. We all hang out together (or chat online) and we all have kids. And it feels just a little backwards to be engaged now. But I’m used to this. It felt sooo weird to be dating and having all those feelings of infatuation, etc. after my husband passed away. THAT felt really weird. I’d say to myself “I’m too old to be doing this again!” But I know I’m not the only one. And I’m determined to enjoy every minute of it. How many people have the opportunity to experience these things twice?
Although in this society there are lots of people who do experience these things more than once. But I believe widowed people have an advantage because they don’t have to carry with them all the baggage that comes with the breakdown of a relationship. I am completely absolved of all guilt and there are no feelings of rejection. My husband’s death was something completely out of my control.
I feel much more deeply now for people who experience separation and divorce. As far as I’m concerned, they’ve got a much more difficult road to walk. And it saddens me how so many people will rally around someone whose spouse has died (which is good), but that same level of support is not extended to many divorced people. I know it’s a more ‘touchy’ situation, but these people need people to love them. And especially if they have children! Those children need people to ‘father’ and ‘mother’ them and provide examples of what healthy relationships look like.
Don’t get me wrong. I do NOT support divorce. I hate the effect it has on adults and children. But if it happens to someone, I don’t want to be someone who lays blame (‘let him who has no sin cast the first stone’), and I don’t want to be someone who ignores the people involved. That just makes it worse.
That’s it for now. I’ve had my rant for tonight.