I was having a conversation with a friend this week about someone I work with. I struggle a lot working with this person. His actions and attitudes grate against my sense of honesty and justice, and I have a great dislike for him because of it. I was going to ‘have’ to apologize to this person for something I had done. My friend asked me why I ‘had’ to. He was challenging me on whether this ‘having to’ was a ‘living by the law’ thing or whether it was a desire to reconcile thing. I told him it was because I know that when I have done something wrong I need to apologize. My friend pressed me further and I responded with: “I need to do it because I fear God.”
And my friend said, “If you feared God, you would love this person.”
OUCH! That stung! Why? Because I know my friend is right. I have neither loved God nor feared Him because I have harboured animosity and hatred in my heart for this person. But, oh, loving him is so hard! In my eyes, this person’s actions & attitudes may him so incredibly ‘unloveable’. He is unrighteous!!
I’m realizing that I have believed I am more deserving of God’s love than this person because I am more righteous. Which I know is completely untrue; I am no more deserving of God’s love than any other person. And I’m only beginning to realize how deep my stubbornness and pride goes in this area. But I also know it needs to go much deeper because I haven’t been cut to the heart by the conviction of my sin yet. I desire to repent and I have repented in this area before, but have I truly repented? How can I honestly repent when I haven’t grasped the ugliness of my sin? So, Lord, show me (no matter how painful it will be), so I can turn and walk a different path.
Why are you worried about what God will think of you? What kind of God has to instill fear into people in order to get them to do ‘right’? Worshipping a God like that is an exercise in futility, because NOTHING you do will EVER completely satisfy Him. Do what you want to do, if God is the almighty, loving being that we say He is, He’ll understand why you are the way you are. Afterall, if we’re created in his own image, then he’s just as susceptible to temptation as we are, so I imagine He sins just as much as the rest of us do. If he didn’t, I imagine the world wouldn’t be as screwed up as it is. It’s only human, and to live your life trying to lead a perfect life, you’re going to spend more time worrying about sinning and less time living.
Paul wrote: “Worshipping a God like that is an exercise in futility, because NOTHING you do will EVER completely satisfy Him.”
God longs for intimate true relationship. That is the very reason that he sent his son Jesus Christ so that he may be in relationship with us always. You are partially right in that our actions will not buy brownie points in our relationship with God, but it does shape our heart to be in more tune with this heart and will and thus we will be closer to him.
WW wrote: “If you feared God, you would love this person.”
I have been thinking alot about the second commandment. Love your neighbor as yourself. What does this look like. If we are sick we put ourselves to bed, If we are sad we look for comfort, if we are hungry we feed ourselves, If we need rest we sleep, So in respect to loving others, it involves humbling ourselves before them, holding back our rights or needs and doing what the spirit of God leads us to do. I was with a freind the other week and he said, loving others is simply looking for ways to bless them. In a work situation it may be as simple as being positive and bringing forward the light you shared earler in the week. When he walks in go out of your way o say hello, msybe add a smile with it. Pray before the start of every day and try to be positive toward him from 9-10, then 10-11 and so on. That way you will not be overwhelmed and you will be encouraged as each hour passes by. I truly believe that if you do this with while praying through it,you will begin to get the heart of God for this man.